Definitions and Groundrules for Your Survival in Divorce Court

In 1970, when the California state legislature eliminated fault in divorce and began no-fault divorce, officially the term in the state laws changed from "divorce" to "dissolution of marriage." However, most people and lawyers still use the word "divorce." (You just don't hear someone saying, "My marriage was dissolved." People say, "I got divorced.") This website is intended for non-lawyers, and it uses the terms "divorce" and "dissolution" interchangeably as there really is no practical difference today.

One rule that applies to everything that is said in this entire website is: You never give away your last copy of anything. If you give evidence to your lawyer, get a copy. If you have to give papers to the court clerk, keep a copy. Never, never give away your last copy.

If you are representing yourself, whenever you file papers, be sure to have copies with you, and have the copies stamped endorsed to prove they have been filed. Whenever you file copies, the clerk stamps the upper righthand corner with the court's stamp, showing the date on which the document was filed. The clerk will also stamp your copies so you can prove they were filed and prove the date of the filing. Copies stamped like this are called "endorsed" copies. Be sure to keep at least one copy of each paper that is filed with the court; make sure you have an "endorsed" copy of each paper in your own records.

At various places, this website indicates how many copies you should make of a particular paper to be filed with the court. The number of copies indicated is the minimum number of copies the court will require. However, it never hurts to take an extra copy (in addition to the numbers indicated in this website) so that if the rules just changed (and everything in Family Court changes constantly), and the clerk suddenly demands an extra copy, you do not find yourself without a copy. If the clerk at some point in this process surprises you and asks for an extra copy, and this will leave you without a copy, do NOT give the clerk your papers. Go out, make an extra copy, and return. You never give away your last copy of any paper.

Every month or so, go down to the courthouse, and look at your file to be sure that you have a copy of everything that has gone into the file. You need your case number, which appears on each document that is filed with the court, and you can go to the courthouse and look at your own file. In addition, many courts have websites that permit you to monitor your file, and you should do this more often that once a month if your case is in active litigation.

If you have an attorney, whenever your attorney is in the courtroom, you should be in there too. You need to be sure that your attorney is representing you vigorously, and you need to know what is happening. If your attorney suggests that you can wait in the hallway, politely tell the attorney that you'd like to see what is happening in court, and go in too. It's scary, but it's important.

Some courts will accept handwritten papers. It is required by state rule that court papers be typewritten. However, if the document is typed, the court will occasionally accept a form that has a small amount of handwriting on it. Some even accept completely handwritten forms, but it is better to be safe and type them. Many courts and libraries have typewriters available for public use. These are California State Rules of Court regarding typing and handwriting papers:

Rule 2.104. Printing; type size.
All papers must be printed or typewritten or be prepared by a photocopying or other duplication process that will produce clear and permanent copies equally as legible as printing in type not smaller than 12 points.

Rule 2.135. Filing of handwritten or hand-printed forms
The clerk must not reject for filing or refuse to file any Judicial Council or local court form solely on the ground that:
(1) It is completed in handwritten or hand-printed characters; or
(2) The handwriting or hand-printing is a color other than blue-black or black.

Not only are there California State Rules of Court (www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms) but all large counties have local family law rules. You cannot represent yourself without getting these rules and reading the part that applies to you. If you have counsel, you can help your attorney better in some cases if you are familiar with the local rules, particularly the ones regarding settlement conference statements. These local rules are of supreme importance in your case. You can obtain a copy of your local court rules by going to Google or other search engine and locating your county court’s home page.

The Judicial Council includes the Chief Justice of the California Supreme Court and other persons specified in Article 6, Section 6 of the California Constitution. The Judicial Council prepares approved printed forms that are used throughout the state in dissolution cases. You use a typewritten, individually prepared form only if there is no applicable printed Judicial Council form. To obtain these forms you go to www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms.

Some forms in this website that are not Judicial Council forms are simply typed on ruled paper that has 28 numbered lines. You can copy it and use the copies for typewritten, non-Judicial Council forms.

Beginning January 1, 1995, it became a requirement that all original forms filed in a California court must be on recycled paper. Copies, however, need not be on recycled paper.

Nothing in the divorce process requires your spouse's cooperation. For example, if he/she will not give information, you obtain it by subpoena or get a court order that he/she cannot introduce any evidence on the issue involved in the withheld documents. If your spouse will not accept service of papers, they can be dropped at his/her feet or mailed or published. If divorces required cooperation by both people, many people simply could not get through the process. The process is designed to work even if only one party wants to make it happen. If you cannot get your spouse to agree, you are entitled to a trial, and then the judge will decide the issues in your divorce. Nothing is automatic

People often think that something in a divorce happens automatically. For example, many people assume that six months after the divorce was served, it will be final, and they will be divorced. This is incorrect. Unless one of the parties does papers and makes something happen, it will not happen. Nothing happens automatically in divorce.

Some people think that if the divorce progresses to a certain point, they can no longer settle. This is not correct. You can always settle your divorce. The problem is that it takes two to settle, but if the two of you agree, the court will not stand in the way. The only time the court would refuse to accept a settlement is if a party is on welfare (TANF) and that party wants to give up spousal support or child support. If one party is on welfare, the Child Support Services Office must be notified of your hearing, or the support order will not be valid. Other than that, the court encourages settlement and will adopt virtually any settlement, even if it seems stupid and unfair. The court always wants you to settle and encourages settlement.

When someone appears in court without an attorney, in California state court they are called a "pro per." In other locations they may be called “pro se” litigants. Some lawyers will try to take advantage of pro per's, and they will do things like lying to the court, and generally the court believes the lawyer rather than the member of the public. This website tries to portray the courts realistically, and realizing that these things happen is part of taking a realistic approach. Some lawyers will lie and say they did not receive your papers, or they will deny that you said what you said in a phone call. For this reason, whenever you have a conversation of importance with your spouse's attorney, you may want to send him/her a confirming letter, and if time is short, email or FAX the letter to him/her. Also, you may want to have a professional process server serve your papers so the lawyer will have less opportunity to deny that he/she received them.